…which is also no wonder. I’m going to say the same thing everyone else here said. It seems like you’re not entirely sure you should be trying to get away from her, which is understandable, she is your mother after all. I think you might also be slightly unsure if you are worth getting her out. You need to show yourself that you are worth living in peace, away from her (because you are). By doing that – showing up for yourself – you’re also showing up for her, maybe giving her the push she needs. If she’s beyond that, that really sucks, but you still need to be there for yourself first.

Gather up all the strength you’re trying to spread out evenly right now and put it all into getting away from your mother. Be kind to yourself with “bad habits”, overthinking, not writing like you’d like to, etc. It’s not you.

Get her out. You absolutely cannot expect yourself to function in a healthy way when someone like that is in your direct environment. It would drive anyone crazy. Sending you love and strength. You got this.