The first year of my son’s life was like hell for me, and coincidentally it was also the year I was still living with his father. I’ve since seen and accepted that it wasn’t all him, I had major issues as well that I’m still working on – BUT I was also doing everything. I was paying for our apartment with my meagre maternal leave allowance. I was breastfeeding our son, doing everything else baby-related, I cooked and I did the laundry. Whenever I had a break down I got rage from him, and how I should learn to ask for help. This was true, but anytime I did ask for help, I was met with the most cynical “hell no” you could imagine. As soon as I left him, everything turned easy. Granted, single parenting is still hard as fuck, sometimes harder than I believe I can take. And now I’m learning to not blame him for what I have to “take” on a daily basis. But the fog is gone. Thank you for your perspective!

Book designer, autistic single mom, Human Design obsessive, severely klutzy chef. https://estherpatrizia.com for HD sessions.

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