Marta!! Wow, I haven’t been on Medium for a while and now this. Damn. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you! Coincidentally, I had a similar “awakening” just shy two days after you published this article. This wondrous universe. Anyway, if I may, I want to add something from a Human Design perspective (I mentioned this to you about a year ago?) – all of this, and all of you antics before this, sound a lot like you have and undefined or open Heart center in HD, the place we access our willpower and ability assess worth and keep promises. People with defined Hearts have the energy to commit to things they want, we others really… don’t. We’re prone to severely undervalue ourselves, to be constantly searching for ways to prove ourselves and our worth, and of course, because we chronically believe we’re not good enough but don’t have the consistent access to the motor energy to do things that would really let us believe we’re good enough, so we keep chasing that tail of good enough, good enough, good enough, until we’re burnt out. Because we’ll never be able to prove it, because there is nothing to prove. People with defined hearts, on the other hand, can believe they have nothing to prove because they intrinsically know their worth, but these are the people who actually do need to prove themselves, if not to the world, then at least to themselves. Anyway. A long way of saying – I think you’re doing everything right :)