I had a kid at 25 and spent a lot of time since then resenting the time I was spending being “unproductive”. Even though I wanted a kid before I was 30, the reality of it was so crushing at first that I thought I was wasting my so-called prime years.

I now know that there is nothing more important than the “unproductive” time I’m spending with my son everyday. There is nothing that could make me as wise as this, if I accept it as that thing I just need to do right now.

Life is very slow and can be so, so boring with a child, and the days go by so, so slowly. But the weeks go by so damn fast that all of sudden, he’s walking. Now he’s starting to talk to me.

Every day, he invites me to look a little further away from how I think things should be done, and when. He shows me how to cut zucchini with a spoon. And how to entertain oneself only with a mirror.

He’s also the best mirror I’ve ever had. I know for certain now that parenting is actually work that we need to do on ourselves. These not even two years have taught me more than the entire 25 before.

And my son, at 21 months, might be a lot more wise right now than most 50- somethings will ever be.

Book designer, autistic single mom, Human Design obsessive, severely klutzy chef. https://estherpatrizia.com for HD sessions.

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