Becoming a parent makes you even quicker to see them — you see the results of these faults (you’re bound to slip up and do the exact thing you vowed never to) almost right away, in your own child. Though I have never told my son to “be a good boy”, I have yelled at him to stop crying because I couldn’t take it anymore. It makes him cry even more. It hurts to see that, and it stings even more when you see it in other people that apparently don’t even question what they’re doing, ever. Of course, we don’t actually know that. But the situation you’re describing sounds a lot like it.