And other things I need to absorb right now

It’s ten-twenty PM. You just had a nice, good, full-body cry for no good reason on the bathroom floor. The kind that makes you feel your abs. Your mind knows what this is about, it’s just some old shit getting swept up to the surface so you can feel it…

Why I still reach for the poison when the cure is within reach

74 half-finished drafts waiting for completion. Even more fragments of stories waiting to be threaded into their true purpose, or anything at all. I don’t know if this is a lot or comparatively little, it doesn’t matter. I can’t concentrate. My mind is scurrying between tasks and stories and levels…

On the shame around the prison of being an autistic single mom

It feels like the ultimate sin and sign at once, to be a millennial and publish this piece. Who am I to complain? I had an upper-middle-class upbringing. I currently live rent-free in my late grandparents’ home, with an en-suite bathroom at that.

Yes, even writing about me, about this…

It’s not a character flaw

I’m a 28-year-old single mother on welfare. My kid is turning three soon and a spot in kindergarten is nowhere in sight.

In Germany, this is just the way it is, and has been for years: if parents don’t bust their asses leeching up to twenty different facilities when or…

Gradually, suddenly, eventually, or never

At 16, my youngest brother could not tell a slight simmer from a decent boil.

I had asked him to cook some pasta. A straightforward task:

Fill a large-ish pot, around one quart capacity, with water, a sliver more than halfway. Set it on the stove. Switch on the heat…

But make sure to hold space for theirs

Every month as if for the first time, the arrival of your period zaps away the carpet from beneath your feet.

You did see it coming. You waited, even yearned for it. PMS can be harsher on your emotional life than the actual five to seven days of bleeding. There…

Esther Patrizia

Book designer, autistic single mom, Human Design obsessive, severely klutzy chef.

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